Monthly Archives: December 2016

leaving and living

Standard

This year, I learned that it’s okay to leave.  That sometimes it’s better to walk away from toxic people, environments, and situations.  That doing so does not make me a weakling or a coward.

I spent half of last year and this year putting up a strong front and trying my very best not to let all the negativity get in the way. I often felt like Atlas with the weight of the world on my shoulders but I kept telling myself that I loved what I was doing so it was okay.

Then one day, it all became too much. That day, Atlas shrugged.

Chaos and mayhem ensued shortly thereafter.

I was somehow able to emerge from all that—shaken to the very core of my being, but still in one piece and only because of the unwavering support of a handful of people and the unfailing grace of God.

That harrowing experience shattered my rose-colored glasses/blinders and I began to see things and people more clearly.

I realized that I had to let go (of the bad) and let (the good) come.

And so this year, I learned to live.

For the first time in a long time, I allowed myself to just have fun and momentarily feel infinite.

I have stopped second-guessing myself so much and though I still need a good push every now and then, I have started to see my own worth a bit more.

Most importantly, I have started to genuinely believe that I am enough.