just in case

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It’s been eleven days. The board exam-induced panic should be over by now.

Except it isn’t.

Exam questions, the ones I was unsure of, haunt me.  They rise from the pages of the test questionnaire and inflate as they hover a couple of inches from the ground.  Then all of a sudden, they start chasing me.  These deranged balloon animal-like words just keep running after me, haranguing me for not having the answers.  And so I run, run as fast as I can until finally, I wake up.

But the waking world doesn’t exactly offer solace from these nightmares.  Everywhere I go, people tell me they expect me to ace the exam.  I don’t even know if I’m going to pass!  They probably mean well but to me, it is as if the balloon questions have somehow managed to escape their dream world and taken on human form.

And every time I encounter a name or conceptual term that reminds me of those frantic study sessions, I cringe–but at the same time, I hold onto it to make sure it doesn’t get swiped from my memory.

“Just in case,” I tell myself, “just in  case.”

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One response »

  1. Pingback: against all odds | a tentative tangling of tendrils

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